How often is it that you have had to come to the realization that, once again, you have invested weeks, months, or even years into a relationship or an association that produced nothing positive or valuable? Did you end up with a feeling of loss as if you had been spiritually and emotionally ravished? Well, maybe it's time to actually investigate your part in the perpetuation of this common crime.
Some personalities are more prone to allow this kind of pilferage. So often they are naturally gregarious. They love people and problem-solving, and easily allow themselves to be caught up in the role of "redeemer."
Subsequently, they feel a sense of failure if they cannot determine that their constant availability is beneficial. Often, these personalities choose their affiliations as a means of identifying their own self-worth. Even in Holy Writ, we are admonished to "love our neighbors as ourselves." I firmly believe that one can only do this successfully after realizing his/her own worth.
You will have to understand that you have the right to enjoy privileges that are afforded through your own efforts or by the grace of God without always feeling the expectancy to share. Every individual is allowed the privilege of knowing that she is unique by the reminder that she was made in God's own image. By virtue of this fact, you have the right to "be."
Please don't be "religious" and counter with "we are our brother's keeper," because even in the light of this revelation, some plant, some water, but only God can give the increase. Our Heavenly Father has allowed us to be "workers together with him," but He alone is sovereign.
When we embark upon these rescue ventures, we really need to determine what the goal is, ours and others. Before we agree to covenant with an individual or a group, we need to determine the benefits of the merger. Are we extending ourselves to become enablers for progress or for status quo?
As a rule, no one really minds "bearing the infirmities of the weak" if the weak use the opportunity to become strong. Then the relationship becomes viable since "iron sharpens iron." There should be checkpoints set up along the way to determine progress. If there are none, then the association can become toxic or unhealthy either spiritually, emotionally, mentally or even financially.
A major checkpoint is agreement. "How can two walk together except they agree?" Often you will realize that you have "shared" or discussed many things but never actually agreed. This situation can be discerned when the topic resurfaces at some juncture, and you realize that your counterpart never saw the issue in the same light that you were led to believe, When negative attitude and unfruitful ways never trade places with enlightenment or productivity, then the union is toxic.When you are forced to see that you have simply been treading water together but never crossing over, then you know that the relationship is toxic. It is one-sided if only one is being enhanced and not the other.
As with any substance or situation that afflicts or renders one helpless, toxic relationships need to be purged. Some combinations just don't work; so go ahead and consider the mystery solved, We are responsible for being good stewards over our time.
Taken from:
"His Daughters Do Prophesy" (With A Word For You)
Marion Clark-Ingram/ author
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